Wasted Youth

by fairfax, ak

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released September 15, 2016

Doc - guitars, vocals, organ, and synth
Dave Afdahl - piano, rhodes, organ
Tim Binger - cello, synth
Haley Fleming - violin, synth
Corey Bertelsen - drums, aux percussion
Andy Myers - aux percussion
Matty Harris - tenor sax, alto sax, baritone sax
Ben Bussey - trombone
Bryan 'Lumpy' Highhal - trumpet

Mixed and Mastered by Rob Genadek at Brewhouse Recordings



Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.


fairfax, ak Minneapolis, Minnesota

"That might have been the loudest folk act I have ever heard" - Steve McCllellan of First Avenue.

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Track Name: Santa Fe
They say you can never go home again
I never looked back
Leaving' with the clothes I had on, a sturdy pair of shoes
And half empty bottle of Jack
I'm only trying to escape my echoes of yesterdays
So I'll save my breath for the sullen steps to Sante Fe

Well I'm leavin'
Movin' on
Don't know why I'm going
But I know I won't stay long

I know why you're running boy
I know your kind son
We only run from ourselves boy
It takes one to know one
I ain't putting' myself on no pedestal I never tried to fix me anyhow
Do you really think you'll find what you're looking for in the next town?

Well I'm leavin'
Movin' on
Don't know where I'm going
But I know I won't stay long

I'm gonna catch a free ride on that train
I'm gonna start over again

Well I'm leavin'
Movin' on
Don't know where I'm going
But I know I won't stay long
Track Name: The Neighborhood
Weekend insomniacs
They can't get cigarettes at 3am
Broken bottles and crooked glass
With late night introspection

I'm so sick
I'm so sick
Sick of the neighborhood
As I should (You would)

The tube top wearin' table top servin' late night waitress
Smells of burnt coffee and black pen ink
This town, yeah this whole town
It ain't go no innocence left savin'

I'm so sick
I'm so sick
Sick of the neighborhood
As I should (You would)

I'm so sick of the street lights, the bar fights
The street lights, the bar fights

I'm so sick I'm so sick
Sick of the neighborhood
Yeah you would
Track Name: Exile on New Street
She bought a pack smokes just to prove that she could
That fake ID got more use then it should

In my brother's car she sat on the passenger side
16 on borrowed time she hung her feet out the window
She took her sweater off and I saw the bruises on her arms
Then she asked me, "Do you think if Jesus came back anyone would even notice?"

I never heard a girl talk quite like her before
She looked away and played with the lock on the door

She held back tears and I parked behind the library with the neon sign
We talked about Alaska
She calmed down when we got high
She said the day you really die
Is the day when no living soul can even remember your name

I'd be lying if I didn't think she made be nervous
But I fell in love with her stories and the false hope in her lies

She always said she would head out west to calm down
Two weeks later she had hitch-hiked her way out of town
Track Name: White Lies of the Freeway
I didn't wear a helmet that night
Just so the wind could clear my head
All my mistakes have first names
I hope the rain will wash my hands

Yellow fingers cut through highway
The horizon curves the white lines don't
Words of poets waft on the gasoline
I spread the ashes of my heart in the American sun

She is a ripple
And I am a chrome jackknife skirting the edge of her wake
I searched for freedom
In the stone of the two-lane, where secrets live in the dust
But I found nothing but capsized dreams
And I realized what I had become

First light crept in and peeled back my skin
I changed my clothes but not my mind
Forever a prisoner of the white lies of the freeway
Track Name: The Saddest Words
These walls are always cold
Colder are the window panes
But coldest are the hands that feed
Those wicked little pills
They give me intravenous dreams
of a world I'll never breathe again

The white coats on their ward
Their calculating stares
Even they believe in miracles
They just have ways of explaining them

The most dangerous luxuries
My freedom and my sanity
Now I have learned
The saddest words that any man can say

Are I used to be
Track Name: Borrowed Melodies
Well that ticket taker
God bless his soul
Telling' all the children he invented rock n' roll
But they turn him a deaf ear
They've been bored all weekend
And they're just so happy to be here

And that bass player
He's trying to push the beat a little faster
And that guitar player
He's wearin' out the finish on that telecaster
And that singer
He scans the front row for attractive ladies
While the band behind him
Plays those borrowed melodies

And the band's playin' songs that are new
But the old ones the crowd don't even know the words to
They're only here to escape the working week's tragedies
Sit back, have a drink, and enjoy those waves of sound
Waves of borrowed melodies

And there's a man wearing the shirt of the band
He's gonna try to sell you merchandise
But pay no mind to him
When a young girl across the room
Peers into your eyes
Track Name: Paycheck to Paycheck
The buildings look like movie props
a sequel to the life I thought I forgot
and I found new friends

I'm living paycheck to paycheck
the thrill of independence my apartment's a wreck
and that ain't no means to an end

Tuesday morning with hungover ambition
regrets and the whisky are my acts of contrition
and I lost my mind

I'm driving that truck at night
Torn thumbs over tattered classifieds
and until my lottery line comes in
I will bide my time
Track Name: I Could Never Fall in Love
Not everyone falls in love
I couldn't if I tried
It could be so much better
When I look in your eyes
I don't have any answers
I'm just good at pretending, honey

My words
They could fill a suitcase
With paint by number cliches
Tiny hearts they can get so weary
By those three words so hard to take

You asked me to go but I won't walk away
No reason for leaving is no reason to stay
I know I should have written you that letter
But I know I had nothing good to say

So take off that dress
All your layers off
There ain't no reason to hide
We can try again
But I won't say I love you this time
Track Name: Wasted Youth
I remember when Halloween still mattered
And the summer winds
When they came in
It blew out the chalk dust from under our nails
We had a camp ground
Where we'd go down and drink from the sprinkler
And that water smells worse than it tastes
Wet pavement and something metallic

Unshaved and terrified in the mirror
I convinced myself I lived when I was young
I searched for peace of mind in suburban life
A quiet home with a quiet wife
It can’t be found
No it can't be found

Now I miss who I once was
But maybe I'm bitter
I surrounded myself
With the things I thought mattered
Like a job that I hate
And a reliable car
An empty apartment
And fake friends from the bar
I don't feel grown up
I just pretend to get by
They say that ignorance is bliss
I've come to know why

I want that ignorance back
I want that innocence back
I wasted my youth when I was young
Track Name: Shepherd Road
Driver get me the hell away from here
There's a Shepherd Road on the other side of town
West of Greek's on 79th
You'll see a roadside motel with a broken sign

He's only angry when he drinks
And lately he's been angry all the time
After seven long years of monochrome tears from tired eyes
Word travels fast in towns of this size

Yeah, It won't be the first time I walk away
From the beer soaked morals and midnight quarrels
I wasted a youth givin' out second chances but driver
Turn this cab around

Tired bodies they grow older
Heated passions they grow colder
And time can cause as many wounds than it heals
He can lay his hands on me
I never expected him to change
The life of my child is one he will not steal

It won't be my first time crawling back
To the old stone steps of this broken home
But tonight on the cool cracked pavement I hear my baby crying